Each day we have over 50,000 thoughts.
Throughout your life the longest conversation you will ever have is with yourself.
The worst part? If the conversation is not going well you can’t walk away.
According to research 90% of all “self talk” recurs day to day and 80% of the average persons habitual thoughts are negative. Imagine how the social constructs of society would crumble if we started talking with others just like we do with ourselves?
Not only would we hate being around the majority of our friends, but your negativity would cause the majority of your friends to disassociate knowing you just because you bring the mood down. Pretty morbib, I know.
The good part? You can change and with a little practice you will not only be more positive , you will start to realize more of your goals, become more productive, and may just end up living a more fulfilled life with your chronic illness. It is amazing what being positive can do.
Imagine living longer? Wanting to get out of bed in the morning? Decreased stress? Getting a full night sleep? Having the best year ever? Achieving all of your goals? Finding the woman/man of your dreams?
It can all happen with positive thinking. Now let’s debunk some of the top myths you have been telling yourself day in and day out.
1) I don’t have the time.
Start being honest with yourself—you have the time but consciously decide where you spend it. You say you do not have the time to go to the gym, but you spend 2 hrs a night watching TV. You say you didn’t have the time to clean because you had a busy week. Guess what? All it took was a few minutes. You are making excuses for things that you don’t want to do. Now I know that with chronic illness we often only have so much energy we can exert in one day. What we have to realize is that we have more energy and time than we give our selves credit for. Not always, but some of the time you are making excuses.
Start priming the engine. For example, leave your gym clothes in your car. Make sure you cannot go home unless you go to the gym. Put all of the cleaning supplies on the counter before you leave for work. Minor set up will prime you to get to work when the time comes.
2) I am tired.
No you’re not. Sorry, but you are not. Remember waking up as a kid on Christmas morning? Were you tired then even though you only got a few hours of sleep? Your mind is playing games with you. The exact opposite occurs when you have tasks you don’t want to do. Remember being in school and feeling like you want to pass out when you had homework to do?
There is a time and a place where your chronic illness is really effecting your energy. Make sure you are not lying to yourself. Get to know your body so that you control your chronic illness, and it does not control you.
Start by telling yourself you are not tired. Even with minimal sleep, being tired can be 95% mental. Drink a large glass of water. Dehydration is the root of being tired. Start to get excited about life. When others say they are tired, laugh because you know they really are not as tired as they think.
3) I am going to fail.
If you keep telling yourself that, you are probably right. Imagine a professional golfer getting to the first tee and thinking he is going to come in last. What are the odds he finishes in 1st?
Make a mindset change. “I am going to succeed”. Say this affirmation out loud before a big meeting, a big event, or even when you wake up. The more times you say it, the more you will start to believe.
4) They have everything. I have nothing.
I am going to share a secret, but don’t let your friends know. Your friends are in a competition for the “best life” on Facebook. Their posts are snap shots into the life they want the world to think they have. In reality, they go through the same struggles that you go through (maybe not chronic illness but struggles non the less!).
Stop paying so much attention to social media, and the news. Most of it is meant to either make you feel unworthy, or make you feel negative about the bad stories that are going on in the world. Start paying attention to your story instead of trying to live through someone else’s.
5) I am too old.
His name is Cyril Baldock, and he is the oldest man to swim the English channel. At 70 years old, he swam between 30 and 40 miles. Still think you are too old?
Look online for someone who is older than you are and has completed the same feat you are attempting. How did they do it? Follow their steps. Remember, if someone else has done it, you can. Believe.
6) I don’t have the talent/ I have never been good at this.
“The separation of talent and skill is one of the greatest misunderstood concepts for people who are trying to excel, who have dreams, who want to do things. Talent you have naturally. Skill is only developed by hours and hours and hours of beating on your craft.” – Will Smith”
7) It can wait until tomorrow.
Nope, no it can’t. Jim Zetz knew this all too well. At 62, Jim was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Fortunate to Jim he was able to walk his daughter down the isle before he died. See the story here from the Huffington Post.
We only have one shot at this world. Make the best of the days you have, and never take anything for granted.
8) I “hate”_____
Really? You hate work. You hate “that person”. You hate the weather.
You really “hate” these things? Start taking “hate” out of your vocabulary. When you start to think you “hate” something, reflect why? What is going on that would make you feel that way? If you felt love instead of hate what would change? If it is a person you hate, think about the struggles they are going through in their lives. Often we hate because we don’t understand. Spend the time trying to understand and you will be amazed.
9) I could use a vacation.
Life should be a vacation . If you decompose the word “vacation” what does it really mean? A vacation from what? Have you ever stopped to think about how you can make your life feel like a vacation? Every day you often hear sarcastic remarks like “another day in paradise” or “another case of the Mondays”. How can you make life fun? Start enjoying every day of your life, and stop waiting for your one week vacation to paradise. How? Find 5 tips to make every day feel like vacation here .
10) That is just the way it is. Carpe Diem.
Carpe Diem is the most overused “positive” saying in the world. The concept is relevant, but the majority of the world takes this quote out of context so that they can get away with stupidity. If you find yourself at loss of motivation with a bag of potato chips in front of you, don’t say “Carpe Diem” and eat the bag. For the sanity of the human race, stop using Carpe Diem to get away with acts that will detriment your physical or emotional health. There is a time and a place for this quote. Use is properly.
What else do you need to stop telling yourself? Tell us below!
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Keep on fighting,
Dave
